Once I'm like 80 and ready to go, I want to tie a string of cheese wire (the really sharp stuff) around my neck like a noose, with the other end tied to something sturdy. I will then super glue my hands to the side of my head, and hang myself. When the wire cuts through my neck, it will look to the coroner (and anyone else around) like I ripped my own head off.
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"Getting drunk when I didn’t mean to? What the hell do these dumb bastards think we’re doing--slipping and falling into vats of liquor?" -Matt tells it like it is to AA
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